i'm cynical, i was told.

a: do you always get your way?
me: yes, but only with the things that don't matter.
i found 2 lucky pennies today!!! of course that doesn't mean anything. i must have found over a thousand lucky pennies in the past 4 years and i haven't seen one ounce of GL. come on!!!!

as i lay thinking

here is what i have realised:
being in love with the idea of someone is very different than actually being in love with them.

here is a quote i read that really struck me:
"...and then I found that girl watching me. If her eyes had a been pistols, I wouldn't be talking now. I be dog if they didn't blaze at me."
As I Lay Dying. William Faulkner.

my mom has a look that shoots like pistols. she always had. if you were in really big trouble, she didn't even have to say a word. she just gave you "that look" and you knew it wasn't going to be a happy ending. moms have a way of doing that. i am beginning to practice mine. for who knows when.

my bff

you go everywhere with me and i never neglect you.

we have become so close over the past year.

i am thinking of going to the dr and just having him sew you into my hand.

thanks for everything. i don't know what i'd do without you.

happy birthday...

to me, of course.

i really am getting old.

(circa: 1986. happy 3rd birthday, little ashley)

carroll gardens.

i am really in love with my new hood, carroll gardens. it really suits me very well and it reminds me a lot of millbrook.

here is why it reminds me of millbrook:

it smells good (but, not QUITE as good as millbrook).

the neighbors are all really friendly and polite to eachother and look out for one another.

it has italian origins and there are a lot of old italians that live there.

its quiet.

lots of families and precious children walking the sidewalks.

people walking their dogs up and down, up and down the sidewalk.

strangers smile at eachother and say "hi".

beautiful old buildings.

lots of nice looking, put together people (aka no crackheads).

no enstars.

very delicious restaurants.

i want to live here forever. well, almost forever, until i get my farm.