new mantra

inside jokes

This morning I had an inside joke with a stranger on the subway. We were both sitting comfortably on our seats (along with another older woman), luxuriously enough everyone on our bench was small (NOT fat) and we reaped the rewards of being normal, healthy sizes by having a little room to shift around in comfort if need be.
THEN the Queen Elizabeth wanna-be paraded on to the train and demanded the three of us move over so she could “squeeze in there”. Squeeze is an understatement. There was about 4 inches IF THAT for her to sit down. So we all obeyed royal demands and squished together like sardines in a tin. She couldn’t even fit her full self onto the seat and because of her Royal Pride she just sort of sat on the edge acting as if Nothing Had Happened.
Everyone was just kind of sitting there in shock and then the older lady on the far end, on the other side of her, finally got up and moved, due to, I am sure, the uncomfortable and awkward circumstances HRH had put as all in.
Of course HRH didn’t expect anyone else to sit on the bench with her after the other lady moved.
Finally, at 59th and Fifth the last standing victim on the bench and myself got up and exited. Then we looked at each-other and without saying a word we both giggled at the ridiculousness that had ensued.
Inside Jokes With Strangers.

goldy locks

i need my braid to look like this.
k thanks.

i miss my grandfather

I don't believe in death. I know that sounds so silly, but I just don't. Its an easy way out of being Sad. Its been 5 years since my Amazing grandfather "died". I usually just never think about it ever since it happened, because if I do, of course I will just cry and get angry and that has never solved anything. I didn't even cry at the wake or funeral, because I just didn't believe it actually happened... with over 200 people from all over the country crammed into a tiny incense smelling chapel, pouring out onto the lawn, it just all seemed surreal that this was for my own grandfather.
William Charles....God rest your soul. The funniest, most original, most entertaining, smartest, classiest, most cultured man I have ever met. And wonderful chef of course, absolutely wonderful.

A Renaissance Man
William Koneazny was a chef, a radio host, a critic, a saloon keeper, a veteran of two armed forces in two wars, an author of two cookbooks and two books on the Roman Catholic Church.
He and his brother, Jack, founded the Peerless Tree Expert Company in 1945, and he was among the first to be licensed as an arborist by the state of Connecticut.
Beginning in 1947, Mr. Koneazny was a host on the radio talk show, the ''Bill Wicky Hour,'' on a station in Torrington, and he ran a tavern, the Pearly Gates Saloon in Sheffield, Mass., just over the state line. Mr. Koneazny was employed as a restaurant reviewer by two newspapers, The Lakeville Journal and The Connecticut Western Newspaper.
Mr. Koneazny, a Hartford native, graduated from Weaver High School in 1944 and saw service in the Merchant Marine in World War II and in the Army in the Korean War.
Mr. Koneazny died June 16. He was 77.

New York Times

The Extraordinary Who Lived Among Us
By DICK AHLES
Published: December 26, 2004

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9D07E1D61030F935A15751C1A9629C8B63&sec=&spon=&pagewanted=10

Worst Sleeps Ever

I can't sleep these days. Well, sometimes I can, but it's usually only after an ambien (or 2) and an Anxious Free Day (those are totally rare). Last night I was oh-so-lucky enough to wake up @ 3am to rain pouring on my head! That's what's cool about having a window right next to the head of your bed and leaving it open during a windy rainstorm. I might as well have been camping outside on my stoop.
What was also really really neat was that all of my books on my night-stand were drenched and probably ruined. I was pretty dazed so I just shoved them all on the floor as fast as I could and then laid my weary head back down on my rain drenched pillow.
On a lighter note, this is my New Favourite Movie and I have already seen it twice in the theatre, totally plan on seeing it 3 more times if it's still playing:


It really is so great and I don't care if people think it's silly, it's NOT silly and it's NOT a Love Story. Go see it. I might start working for this movie as a promoter.

i'm cynical, i was told.

a: do you always get your way?
me: yes, but only with the things that don't matter.
i found 2 lucky pennies today!!! of course that doesn't mean anything. i must have found over a thousand lucky pennies in the past 4 years and i haven't seen one ounce of GL. come on!!!!

as i lay thinking

here is what i have realised:
being in love with the idea of someone is very different than actually being in love with them.

here is a quote i read that really struck me:
"...and then I found that girl watching me. If her eyes had a been pistols, I wouldn't be talking now. I be dog if they didn't blaze at me."
As I Lay Dying. William Faulkner.

my mom has a look that shoots like pistols. she always had. if you were in really big trouble, she didn't even have to say a word. she just gave you "that look" and you knew it wasn't going to be a happy ending. moms have a way of doing that. i am beginning to practice mine. for who knows when.

my bff

you go everywhere with me and i never neglect you.

we have become so close over the past year.

i am thinking of going to the dr and just having him sew you into my hand.

thanks for everything. i don't know what i'd do without you.

happy birthday...

to me, of course.

i really am getting old.

(circa: 1986. happy 3rd birthday, little ashley)

carroll gardens.

i am really in love with my new hood, carroll gardens. it really suits me very well and it reminds me a lot of millbrook.

here is why it reminds me of millbrook:

it smells good (but, not QUITE as good as millbrook).

the neighbors are all really friendly and polite to eachother and look out for one another.

it has italian origins and there are a lot of old italians that live there.

its quiet.

lots of families and precious children walking the sidewalks.

people walking their dogs up and down, up and down the sidewalk.

strangers smile at eachother and say "hi".

beautiful old buildings.

lots of nice looking, put together people (aka no crackheads).

no enstars.

very delicious restaurants.

i want to live here forever. well, almost forever, until i get my farm.

i forgot

i completely forgot i even had a blog. i have been so frazzled.

this past weekend was good because: i was in millbrook. and thanks mom and dad for living in millbrook. great choice! (really maybe i should be thanking my great-grandparents).

it was also good because: i had another tennis lesson. i really need to work on my forehand or else i am quitting. (actually not; my mom never ever used to let us quit ANYTHING, even board games, which of course was something i wanted to do often.)

(thanks, mom and dad.)

raspberry souffle.

my new favourite interior decorator is:
Miles Redd

i just love love love his style- the colours and the mix of modern with the traditional. its so fresh and exciting.
i also love this quote from him:

"its like being submerged in the center of a raspberry souffle"

oh that makes me really really hungry.

when it rains it pours

i guess the good thing about being 25 3/4 is that if you forget your umbrella, you are capable of running 5 blocks in the pouring pouring rain.

i am not a city girl

enough said.

"i know from experience that i prefer city space to country space. i love the idea of the country, but then when i get there it comes back to that:
i love to walk but i cant
i love to swim but i cant
i love to sit in the sun but i cant
i love to smell the flowers but i cant
i love to play tennis but i cant
i love to water-ski but i cant
........
another reason i like the city better than the country is that in the city everything is geared to working, in the country every thing is geared to relaxation."
andy warhol

(i guess this is one thing that sets us apart. i dont care if all i do is relax.)

in a da hood

today on the subway i saw a nice hipster-eque boy wearing this t shirt:


this is a really nice outlet for privileged white kids to associate their lives with being gangsta. i thought it was very clever. mad props.

quality, not quantity.

this is what i need to learn to do:
be content with what i have and what i am doing.

you could give me everything on my Wish List, and for some reason, after its all said and done, i would want something else; or think that something better exists.
i don't know why i am like this.
i have been given a lot, and am very lucky. so when will all this nonsense in my mind stop?


F26 Stadt 12/54 (Berlin)
Frank Thiel
2006

oh yum.

here is where i really really want to go back to very soon:

here is what i had last time that was very delicious:

sweet potato and goat cheese croquettes.

duck meatloaf with celery root creamed spinach, an onion ring and duck jus.

chocolate chip bread pudding with butter scotch sauce and whipped cream.

(sometimes i just want to eat everything i can get my hands on.)

ohhhhh i just can't get it out of my head.

it was fathers day.

i think i have always been my dad's favourite, but dont tell bethany, christopher or clare that.

circa: 1985. my dad had cool glasses.

circa: 1985.5...my dad had coold outfits and hairdos.

circa: 1986 (i wished there was not a large shadow on my dads head)

y'all save lives?

Yesterday a woman told me I saved her life because I opened the door for her when it was pouring rain.
I've never saved someones life before, but that was not how I was picturing it to feel at all.

I am sad because:
I wished they had found Kaelan Paton. It really breaks my heart. I am grateful that my uncle and friends were part of the search team. It makes me realize that my problems are minimal and silly in comparison to the pain some people have to feel. this is something that cannot be reversed. when is enough just enough?

god rest your soul.

http://www.registercitizen.com/articles/2009/06/18/news/doc4a39ba57de7d4666955034.txt

http://www.courant.com/news/wtic-search-and-recovery-salisbury-0617,0,4160119.story

so what? so what?

things i do not like today:
hipsters
post-graduate art students who live off of their parents while they travel wherever they want to go and have fake jobs.
wishy-washy inconsistent people

things i like today:
people obeying me
the post-card i got from france
quesadillas and guac
the philosophy of andywarhol


andy warhol, of course.

i also like this story:
yesterday when i was on the F train on my way to have (2) SugarSweetSunshine cupcakes for dinner, the lady sitting next to me offered her seat to a lady standing "would you like my seat, m'am". the lady standing proceeded to say "oh, i'm not pregnant." BIG MISTAKE. she should have just taken the seat and shutup. because then of course everyone was either smirking or trying to get a glimpse at her pot-belly (which she did indeed have).
i am still debating who the situation was more embarrassing for.